When I was a little girl, my parents will tell you that I loved to talk, learn, hear about anything and everything Africa! I was fascinated, by the stories of how people lived and I wanted to know more. I was awestruck by the beauty of the land and its creatures. This has stuck with me throughout my life and the interest has continued to grow. My parents aren't really sure where this all began, but I did have a 1st grade teacher that spent some time teaching missionaries children in Cameroon and I remember her stories vividly. In 4 short days, that little girl that had a heart for Africa is going to board a plane to Lusaka, Zambia as a woman who has a heart for the Lord.
I am overcome with emotion because I am so close to something I feel I have longed for for twenty years or more. I am also overcome with emotion because when I board that plane, I will leave behind my amazing husband and my sweet baby girl and fly across this world. I am certain that I alone do not have the strength to leave my family and my comfort zone for 2 weeks. But I know undoubtedly that my God is the ONLY one that can remove the fear and anxiety from my human heart and give me the strength and grace that I will require.
Throughout my mental preparation for this journey I have gone through a roller coaster of different emotions. God has revealed so much to me just in my preparation for this trip, I can only imagine what He has in store for me while we are there! Last week as I was struggling with fear and anxiety and the realization that our departure was coming upon us very quickly. He reminded me of a passage in Mark 8:34, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." He doesn't want us to follow Him with our eyes fixed back at "home" where everything that we love is. He doesn't want me to say "Sure, I'll follow you" while I'm really thinking, "Can I trust Him to bring me back?". As I was thinking all of these things, God simply said, "you might as well stay here if you are not going to completely trust me and follow me regardless of the outcome.If you do not fully trust me then you will be doing no good for the furtherance of My kingdom." Wow..... at that moment I decided that I FULLY trust that this trip is God's will for me and that that little seed of love he placed in my heart for Africa when He made me has matured into a burden to serve its people and further the kingdom of the ONE that gave me life.
This Saturday, May 14th, 2011, I will have the opportunity of a lifetime to travel across the world to meet these people that God is preparing for our path. I believe that He will take me to this place to teach me more than I could ever dream of teaching the people we will meet. I look forward to the opportunity to give up the "things" of this life, and the comforts of my "home", and say, "I fix my eyes upon You, and place my trust in You, that no matter what the outcome, I seek to serve You, my creator, my savior...everyday of my life!"
I am SO grateful to my husband who has never once questioned my desire to go! Despite the challenge that it will be for him to be a single parent for a few weeks, he has not once made me feel like I should not do this. My prayer is that my sweet Emma will be comforted and have peace through the change that will occur for the time that I am gone. I hope that one day when she is old enough to understand that she will see God's strength through this, because it is going to be so difficult to leave my baby. I also pray that she has a special 3rd birthday while I am away! But I know that He will teach her more than I can imagine through this as well. I am eternally grateful to my parents to for providing this opportunity for my Dad and I to share this life-changing experience together! And thank you to all those that have, been and will continue to pray for our team throughout this journey!
